Dang it, dang it, dang it! I preach and wholeheartedly believe in living healthy and loving yourself as is! I have gone from calorie counting to macro nutrient counting to just eating healthy. I talk about how that if we don't accept ourselves now, then no matter what number the scale says when we reach our "ideal" weight, we will still see some imperfection and focus on that. Yet here I am, struggling to pull up and button those stupid pair of skinny jeans that fit me last year. Believe me, I'm pissed, pissed that I can't fit in those jeans AND pissed that I'm pissed about that!
Those jeans don't define me! Do you know (and I know you do), what is going through my mind? Let's see
* it's my eating, I'm eating too much
* I'm not eating enough to support my marathon training
* I gained too much muscle in my legs
* I need to eat less
* I need to eat more protein
* I need to start counting my calories again
* Why do I have to work so hard just to maintain, why can't it just come easy!!
What the hell! They're just freaking jeans! I am a triathlete, I'm a decent runner, I've run a marathon and am training for another one, I lift weights and have lost a decent amount of weight! What the hell are those jeans doing to me! I am a strong and healthy woman and mother. My worth isn't in my jeans. I have come so far, yet those self loathing thoughts still creep in. Hopefully you aren't looking for an "I'm fixed" moment. I don't have it. It's an ongoing thing, isn't it? I just have to remind myself when I reach moments like this, that I am healthy and happy. I'm just going to try to combat those thoughts as they enter my head and focus on the now. I'm not going to count calories or macro nutrients. I'm not going to skip meals, I'm just going to eat healthy (and have an occasional piece of chocolate cake) and live my life. Staying active and eating healthy is where it is. There's no magic pill, no diet that works, it's a lifestyle and a mindset. So I'm shoving those damn jeans to the bottom of my drawer and focusing on my health!
What trips you up and makes you feel bad about yourself? How do you combat it?
You know I struggle with all of these thoughts and doubts. I place value upon myself by my size or number on the scale but I KNOW that I shouldn't. This is a vicious cycle to break.
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard cycle to break! Unfortunately, it can suck much of our happiness and joy in our achievements! You are an amazing runner and inspiration, Amanda!
ReplyDeleteIt really is so hard to get away from that no matter how hard you work! I recently tried on a fancy dress that fit me last year and I couldn't zip it. It seems that adding CrossFit into my routine has caused my back to get a little bigger (read: stronger). It was odd. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I wouldn't worry about those skinny jeans - they're so last year anyway. :) Besides, triathlete, marathon runner, weight lifter - um, your body is bound to change it's shape for the better. Just a side effect of being so awesome! :)
ReplyDeleteQuestion though - why keep the jeans? Do you just them as a drawer filler?
You should join our #HealthyFitspo Challenge! We are trying to combat the unrealistic, unhealthy fitspiration with images and words of wisdom that promote healthy bodies and attainable goals.
ReplyDeletehttp://prairieprincessrunners.com/2013/09/30/healthy-fitspo-challenge/
P.S. I also have the same issue with stupid skinny jeans!
Take care,
~Princess Lisa
I think the movement is wonderful that is stressing that women can be strong too! Maybe we don't fit in those jeans, but we have muscles!! We all come in different shapes and sizes and each of those is ok! Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I love that challenge!
ReplyDeleteI'm struggling finding a pair of jeans I like right now. It's very frustrating and I'm hoping if I just keep telling myself how much progress I've made then I'll start feeling better...
ReplyDeleteI swear, jeans are the cold weather equal to bathing suits!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about it! I've decided I'm not built for skinny jeans, I mean...I'm 5'2" and they just don't do me any favors, unless it's with a tunic :)
ReplyDeleteI'm training for a marathon too and some times I'm sure my legs are just a little puffy from the training :) You're an amazing athlete, keep up the good work!