Come On Feminism!

If you have been following me for any length of time, you know that I do not like the traditional stereotype of what a mom "should be". The cool thing about the time we live in is that we are able to be so much more that we used to. It's ok for us to be athletic, crafty, studious, a career woman. The problem is that women often are pretty harsh on other women. We have come so far with feminism but still like to pigeonhole what a person should be.

I have an Instagram account (you should follow me, wink, wink). I follow mostly fitness and healthy cooking people. One thing have noticed is how often women comment on the images making incredibly rude and unsupportive comments.

A picture of a woman with ripped abs and not so little chest had the following comments;

"I like my curves, that's just gross"

"I would never get fake boobs like that"

"I wish I looked like her"

An image of a muscular woman:

"That's just nasty"

"real women have curves"

"She looks like a man"

A stay at home mom posts a picture of her family stating she loves staying at home:

"you are so lucky, I wish I could stay at home"

"Go feminisim! Way to throw that away!"

A working mom posts a picture of how she's tired and doesn't have time for cooking:

"you should be at home with your kids"

"Your kids are suffering by you working"

It seems that no matter what we do and how far we get, there's a person there to judge. My question is, who cares? You aren't the one with the muscles, the one staying at home, the one working. Ok, maybe you are. Maybe it was easy for you to juggle staying at home and now you are struggling to work and run a household. That doesn't mean it's easy for Sue to be a stay at home mom. Yet we comment so quickly on how much easier it is to work or stay at home.

Can we just respect that we each have a different path in life that might not be right for us, or have different challenges? Let's not put each other in those predesignated roles in what something is supposed to be like. I hope this post hits home with someone out there. To be honest, this was supposed to be a post about the stereotype of long distance runners not lifting heavy. I have pictures and everything! This little post took on a life of it's own. I'll still post the pictures and only those of you that finishes this post will understand. My friend runs a sub 3:30 marathon and I so far am at 3:57. Yet we both lift heavy. Another stereotype.



Has there been a time when you judged someone else or maybe you were judged?

Thanks for reading!

My Marathon "birth" story

Getting the Mama Groove Back

The last few days have been ROUGH as far as mamahood goes. I just wasn't in the groove, I wasn't connected. My kids were responding accordingly and it was a nasty cycle! I raised my voice more than I like and there may have been a moment when I may have snapped a bit (not violently just overreacted). I just felt like I had lost control of the situation and it was spiraling. My daughter insisted in wearing the same outfit yet again this week and after I said no she was following me around whining, throwing toys, screaming- again, it was spiraling and escalating. I gave choices- this outfit or that one, nope! I was taking toys, raising my voice, and just getting mad at the situation. Really, what was the big deal to wear the flipping outfit again. It was my issue; what would her teachers think? This whole situation escalated just because I wasn't in the mama groove and picking my battles. So she loves that ruffly skirt, who cares. Now, I don't want to get into the spanking discussion or how to discipline my kids. That's not the point of this post. The point is that we all have these moments when we just get unsynced from everything. It happens to the best of parents. If there is a parent out there that claims they are always calm and collected, they are lying. My mood was fueling their behavior.
So, what to do from here? First, I have found what works best for me is to get away and recharge. I know this isn't possible all the time, but it is insanely important. We have to care for ourselves before we can care for our families. I dropped my daughter off at preschool and headed to the Y to meet a friend for a workout. I had 30 minutes to kill before she was done training a client before we could work out (oh yeah, as luck would have it, I have a personal trainer friend- coolest). My day was turning around, my other 2 friends who are my running buddies for this upcoming marathon were there and ready to run a bit. Two and a half miles later I was ready to do some heavy lifting! So that was 1 1/2 hours I was able to burn off steam, vent, and regain control. I picked my daughter up from preschool (only a half day) a recharged mama! I had a plan to fix this situation. This is where the 2nd key comes in, change the environment. Usually we get outside- backyard, park, nature hike, anything. Today however, it's rainy and a bit warm and humid. So outside just wasn't in the stars. Backup plan- BAKE!! After some lunch, my daughter and I baked some pumpkin snickerdoodle cookies. After some joking around and laughing, mixing and baking, we were reset. I feel more in the groove, lighthearted and HAPPY! Guess what, so do my kids!
It's not easy being a parent, kids are good a pushing our buttons. They are especially good at pushing them when we are off our game! We are the parents though. It's not their fault the situation is getting out of control, it's ours. They don't cause us to raise our voice, hit (I do not endorse hitting a child, just giving an example), throw things, whatever we do when we lose it! We are in control of our response. They are reacting to us. If you feel constantly out of control and out of sync, talk to someone, do something to regain it. Being a parent is a joyful experience (ok, not always) we only have them for a little bit. Let's make it a good little bit!

Getting Your Groove Back:
1. Realize you are in charge of your responses
2. Recharge- workout, bath, hobby, read, walk, talk to a friend, timeout in your room for a few minutes, deep breathing, yoga....
3. Fake it till you make it- smile, laugh, point out positives, act happy (if you don't feel fully better after recharge)
4. Change your environment- do something different, get outside, picnic in the living room, park, movie night
5. Have a plan- create a mental plan for when (because it'll happen again) it happens again. Figure out what led up to the situation and how you can respond next time.

How do you get your groove back? Do you ever feel like you are just not in control?

Don't let those skinny jeans define you

     Dang it, dang it, dang it! I preach and wholeheartedly believe in living healthy and loving yourself as is! I have gone from calorie counting to macro nutrient counting to just eating healthy. I  talk about how that if we don't accept ourselves now, then no matter what number the scale says when we reach our "ideal" weight, we will still see some imperfection and focus on that. Yet here I am, struggling to pull up and button those stupid pair of skinny jeans that fit me last year. Believe me, I'm pissed, pissed that I can't fit in those jeans AND pissed that I'm pissed about that! 

     Those jeans don't define me! Do you know (and I know you do), what is going through my mind? Let's see

* it's my eating, I'm eating too much

* I'm not eating enough to support my marathon training

* I gained too much muscle in my legs

* I need to eat less

* I need to eat more protein

* I need to start counting my calories again

* Why do I have to work so hard just to maintain, why can't it just come easy!!

     What the hell! They're just freaking jeans! I am a triathlete, I'm a decent runner, I've run a marathon and am training for another one, I lift weights and have lost a decent amount of weight! What the hell are those jeans doing to me! I am a strong and healthy woman and mother. My worth isn't in my jeans. I have come so far, yet those self loathing thoughts still creep in. Hopefully you aren't looking for an "I'm fixed" moment. I don't have it. It's an ongoing thing, isn't it? I just have to remind myself when I reach moments like this, that I am healthy and happy. I'm just going to try to combat those thoughts as they enter my head and focus on the now. I'm not going to count calories or macro nutrients. I'm not going to skip meals, I'm just going to eat healthy (and have an occasional piece of chocolate cake) and live my life. Staying active and eating healthy is where it is. There's no magic pill, no diet that works, it's a lifestyle and a mindset. So I'm shoving those damn jeans to the bottom of my drawer and focusing on my health! 

     What trips you up and makes you feel bad about yourself? How do you combat it?

Reluctant Marathoner and a Contest

I swore I would never run a full marathon again. My last and first was pretty wicked! I over trained and got a tibia stress fracture in the process. Then without knowing my pain was a fracture, I ran the marathon with the fracture. Of course after that I was sidelined for months. So after that super fun experience, I swore I would stick with my favorite 1/2 marathon distance along with 5k's and try out the Triathlon thing.

So what happens when you are a bit of a procrastinator and waited to the last minute to register for the Columbus half marathon that apparently fills up quickly, only to find it full? Well, considering I am going with some friends minus kids and husbands, with a hotel room, and they are all running the full marathon.... oh, yeah, you guessed it, I sign up for the freaking full! Luckily I am already at the 12 mile run distance and I have 6 weeks before the actual race. That gives me enough time to train. My plan is to run 13 miles (Just ran it this past weekend), 15 miles, 17 miles, 20 and then taper until the race. I'll be continuing to strength train the other days, cross train a bit and run 1-2 other days but shorter distances.

I really think that in this time since my last marathon, the strength training I have done has really helped my running. I feel stronger and I've gotten faster. I PR'd at my last 5k and ran it in 21:54!! My 5k speed before injury (granted I was still relatively new to racing and running) hovered between 25-28 minutes so this is HUGE! Now, I feel my muscles protect my body from the trauma long distance running can cause. I've also learned to listen more to my body. If I feel I need to ease off, I will and do!

Hey, I love a good challenge and I am not a fan of having something looming over my head that I can't do (Like open water swimming). I will try my damnedest to succeed if at all possible, especially if I am the one standing in my way of my own success!

Side note about diet and eating- anyone read or reading It Starts With Food by Melissa Hartwig and Dallas Hartwig? It's changing my thinking on food! I will go more in depth about the book in a future post, there is just so much information to cover! If you have thought about reading the book but were on the fence, go for it? It's worth the cost!

Ok, CONTEST!! When I named my blog, it was a time when I was really working to get in shape and bounce back after my babies. I FINALLY feel like I have bounced back. My blog has taken on a different role. I think it is more of an informational and motivational type blog. I love to write and am going to keep at it. However, I don't think Running 4 Mama's Comeback is an accurate name choice any more. So the contest is to rename my blog!! To enter you need to

1. follow this blog

2. Give me your idea for a new name in the comments below. The best name will win a prize yet to be determined- but trust me, you'll like it!!

Contest ends on Saturday 9/21 at midnight est.

I can't wait to hear your ideas!!