Getting the Mama Groove Back

The last few days have been ROUGH as far as mamahood goes. I just wasn't in the groove, I wasn't connected. My kids were responding accordingly and it was a nasty cycle! I raised my voice more than I like and there may have been a moment when I may have snapped a bit (not violently just overreacted). I just felt like I had lost control of the situation and it was spiraling. My daughter insisted in wearing the same outfit yet again this week and after I said no she was following me around whining, throwing toys, screaming- again, it was spiraling and escalating. I gave choices- this outfit or that one, nope! I was taking toys, raising my voice, and just getting mad at the situation. Really, what was the big deal to wear the flipping outfit again. It was my issue; what would her teachers think? This whole situation escalated just because I wasn't in the mama groove and picking my battles. So she loves that ruffly skirt, who cares. Now, I don't want to get into the spanking discussion or how to discipline my kids. That's not the point of this post. The point is that we all have these moments when we just get unsynced from everything. It happens to the best of parents. If there is a parent out there that claims they are always calm and collected, they are lying. My mood was fueling their behavior.
So, what to do from here? First, I have found what works best for me is to get away and recharge. I know this isn't possible all the time, but it is insanely important. We have to care for ourselves before we can care for our families. I dropped my daughter off at preschool and headed to the Y to meet a friend for a workout. I had 30 minutes to kill before she was done training a client before we could work out (oh yeah, as luck would have it, I have a personal trainer friend- coolest). My day was turning around, my other 2 friends who are my running buddies for this upcoming marathon were there and ready to run a bit. Two and a half miles later I was ready to do some heavy lifting! So that was 1 1/2 hours I was able to burn off steam, vent, and regain control. I picked my daughter up from preschool (only a half day) a recharged mama! I had a plan to fix this situation. This is where the 2nd key comes in, change the environment. Usually we get outside- backyard, park, nature hike, anything. Today however, it's rainy and a bit warm and humid. So outside just wasn't in the stars. Backup plan- BAKE!! After some lunch, my daughter and I baked some pumpkin snickerdoodle cookies. After some joking around and laughing, mixing and baking, we were reset. I feel more in the groove, lighthearted and HAPPY! Guess what, so do my kids!
It's not easy being a parent, kids are good a pushing our buttons. They are especially good at pushing them when we are off our game! We are the parents though. It's not their fault the situation is getting out of control, it's ours. They don't cause us to raise our voice, hit (I do not endorse hitting a child, just giving an example), throw things, whatever we do when we lose it! We are in control of our response. They are reacting to us. If you feel constantly out of control and out of sync, talk to someone, do something to regain it. Being a parent is a joyful experience (ok, not always) we only have them for a little bit. Let's make it a good little bit!

Getting Your Groove Back:
1. Realize you are in charge of your responses
2. Recharge- workout, bath, hobby, read, walk, talk to a friend, timeout in your room for a few minutes, deep breathing, yoga....
3. Fake it till you make it- smile, laugh, point out positives, act happy (if you don't feel fully better after recharge)
4. Change your environment- do something different, get outside, picnic in the living room, park, movie night
5. Have a plan- create a mental plan for when (because it'll happen again) it happens again. Figure out what led up to the situation and how you can respond next time.

How do you get your groove back? Do you ever feel like you are just not in control?